We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize