I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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