Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize