Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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