he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize