i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
smell my finger.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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