I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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