i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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