butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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