He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
