someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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