Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
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Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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