I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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