I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize