So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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