Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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