I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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