its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize