she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
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