I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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