Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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