you guys were way drunker than both of me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
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Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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