My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize