Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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