"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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