omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize