Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am available for nakedness
Randomize