Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Go christen that room with your naked body.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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