chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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