he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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