I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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