I need help removing her.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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