i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
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Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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