I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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