Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize