I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
is it fun? or sober?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize