You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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