You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize