I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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