if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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