we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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