i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize