i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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