...so i touched it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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