i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize