He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize