i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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