Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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