your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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