next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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