I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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