your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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